Based off of my own experiences and the characteristics of what God says the man we get involved with should have- here five types of guys to avoid dating!
The inconsistent guy: This is the guy you can’t rely on. He’s not around when he says he will be and his efforts to pursue you are minimal. One week the two of you are trying to build something and the next week you don’t hear from him. At times he tries to win your love, but other times you’re not sure of his intentions. He might say he’s interested in you, but his actions say otherwise. He keeps you on a thread because he doesn’t want to man up and take you serious but he also doesn’t want to lose you completely. He’ll do things like respond late to your texts or sometimes not at all. You’ll go days without talking so you’ll think it’s over, but then he’ll hit you with a “how have you been?”, and then it starts all over again. This can go on for years and is one of the biggest waste of time. Be weary of inconsistent men because a man who is for you will be reliable, consistent, and intentional.
The guy with the girlfriend: This is the man who is in a relationship with another woman but is still pursuing you. He may tell you things like they’re breaking up or he’s not happy, but avoid him at all costs. First of all, every one has a choice. If he were so unhappy he can make the decision to leave. But he doesn’t. Most of the time he isn’t going anywhere. Instead, he decides to stay and cheat which speaks volumes about his character. He’d rather lie and connive than be truthful to someone he probably tells he loves. So what do you think he will do to you one day if he becomes so-called unhappy?
And let’s just say he’s telling the truth about having a rocky relationship that’s coming to an end- or it just ended. Still, avoid dating him. People who are fresh out of relationships are damaged. Period. That person needs time to reflect and heal.
I learned this the hard way. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been the ‘other woman’. It was stupid but I gave the situation a pass because he was someone I had known for a long time and I thought I had rights to some sort of seniority.
Well for the first 2/3 months of me getting back in contact with him he was dating someone he had been with for the last two years or so- and then they broke up. After it ended I talked to him for several months after thinking we could build something, but it never happened. The help he needed was way beyond me or any other woman for that matter. I hate that it took me a broken heart and wasted time to realize he was never the one. I allowed my familiarity with him to get the best of me, but I should have already known that God doesn’t operate in the midst of confusion and he wasn’t going to send me someone who was already with someone else. Lesson learned.
The known player: This is the guy who probably has four different women in love with him right now and at least two of them probably think they’re his girlfriend. But if you ask him about it, he has no idea why ladies are obsessed with him or led to believe they have a relationship with him. He’s the guy you’ve already heard about, but you’re still considering giving him a chance. You can’t believe everything you hear, but a lot of the time where there’s smoke there’s fire so be careful with the known player.
The guy who doesn’t respect boundaries: This is the guy who makes you decide between him and what you believe in. He doesn’t pay regard to the lines you draw that you don’t want crossed. He doesn’t care about being celibate or putting God first or self-discipline. He pulls you further from God rather than closer. He wants you to bend the rules you set for the relationship and if you don’t oblige he sees it as a negative thing rather than you honoring your creator. Run from him.
The counterfeit guy: This is the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Keep in mind that just as God knows what you’re attracted to, so does the devil. One of the enemies greatest weapon is the counterfeit guy he will send to you to distract you from the real man God has for you. This is the guy who will check off all of your boxes from his outside works, but when you look beyond the surface there are discrepancies. He’s the one who seems to have so much going for him. He may volunteer within the community, go to church, sing all the gospel songs, has ‘God first’ in his social media bio, and so on- but behind closed doors he’s the furthest thing from perfect. But he wants you to think that he isn’t. He says he loves God but he doesn’t pray or read his bible throughout the week. He says he wants a godly woman, but the first thing he does when he attracts one is distract and tempt her. That guy I mentioned earlier who had the girlfriend? He was also my counterfeit guy. He looked amazing on paper but when it came down to it he wasn’t for me. This is a dangerous guy because he’s lures women into darkness by using a false light. Avoid him with no exception by ‘observing his fruits’ and praying for discernment.
So those were 5 types of guys to avoid dating. There are plenty of other types to avoid, but essentially it all boils down to the same thing. The common denominator between all five of the mentioned guys is they all need to do some soul searching. They’re the guys who have yet to build a strong enough relationship with God so they don’t have the tools necessary to love you correctly. God is love and a man can’t give love unless he knows love.
Thanks for reading and let me know in the comments if this post helped steer you in the right direction of who you should avoid dating!