The Prodigal Daughter

Here I am. The daughter of two Pentecostal pastors. That’s right, I’m the “pastor’s kid“. I’m the girl who grew up attending church every Sunday, Wednesday and sometimes Friday. I’m the girl with parents so strict that my friends in school didn’t even bother inviting me to outside school activities because they already knew that there was no way my mother would allow me to attend a party or be out after dark. And was the event co-ed? If so, you could really forget about it. Most of my childhood revolved around church and keeping God’s commandments. Don’t lie. No sex before marriage. All of that.

So how did I end up where I did? How did that church going girl with the dresses and skirts to her ankles turn into an adult who struggled with the basic principalities of virtue? How did I break my commitment to not have sex before marriage? At one point I struggled so much with lust. I wasn’t promiscuous. But I tried to use sex as a tool to prove my love.  I excused it because I convinced myself that it was ok if I we were in love and in a “committed” relationship. It’s like I grew up, moved out, and temporarily forgot about everything I was taught. I was dating the wrong guys, partying like nothing mattered, working at night clubs,  and more concerned with proving to the world that I was worthy than I was with proving it to God.

Other Christians assumed that because I was “born into” Christianity I had it easier than others who didn’t find Christ until their later years. However, I didn’t find that to be true. I will never doubt the fact that I am blessed to have had a family who made Jesus the center of everything, because even when I wasn’t praying there was somebody else who was.  I think my issue was just that at the time, I had never felt that strong sense of deliverance. I knew I was saved, but it’s not the same as when someone who never knew God is miraculously saved by him. They literally find God. They seem to not take him for granted as much as those of us who grew up in the church. As a young adult I didn’t feel as close to God as I should have because everything was so routine.  I didn’t know it then, but I needed to really dig and build a personal relationship with God. I needed to understand why he was God and piece together everything I learned growing up. Being a follower of Christ isn’t about following rules. Jesus wasn’t a mutual friend, and I wasn’t saved just because my parents were. I needed to know God and not just a lot about him.

After years of rebellion, its finally making sense to me. And that’s where I’m at now. I wish it didn’t take me until my late twenties to start listening to the voice that’s been tugging at my heart and ears for years.  Telling me to come home. There wasn’t some big life event that put me back on my path to God. At least not one in particular. It was the fact that no matter what I did in life, or how much fun I thought I was having, I was never truly happy.  There were times where I felt so low about life that I wanted to end it. I spent a decade trying to do things my own way, but was never satisfied. I chased the glories of this world instead of living in the true calling that God set up for me.  Now, as I observe how the world is operating, and as I see the prophecies in the bible begin to truly unfold, I realize more and more how important it is to live in God’s will.  What better way to use my passion for words and fashion than to be a platform for the type of women that should truly be honored regardless of the lack of media hype.

I’m not perfect and I didn’t create this brand to act like I am. I know the truth but sometimes living in it is a challenge. Especially with the way this world is set up today; Sex on tv, drugs in music, and modesty never advertised–its’ not designed to help us win. As a matter of fact, its designed to do the exact opposite. And if the world can lead a girl who spent her whole life going to church astray—imagine what it could do to a woman who has never known Christ.  I’m just happy that I found my way back into God’s presence. I’m excited to share my  journey of staying on the virtuous road and inspiring others to see the beauty in being the virtuous woman.

-Veronica A .Catlin

Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

[ The Parable of the Prodigal Son ]

Luke 15 : 11